


Psychic Powers Do Not Exist

by katydid



Series: Five Detectives and Five Criminals that Never Met Sherlock Holmes [3]
Category: Psych, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Americans are crazy, Gen, Gus and John do not have much in common despite what Gus may think, Humor, Lassie and Lestrade should get drinks sometime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-26
Updated: 2012-07-26
Packaged: 2017-11-10 18:10:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/469181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katydid/pseuds/katydid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Shawn maintains his reputation of driving everyone batty, even the great detective Sherlock Holmes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Psychic Powers Do Not Exist

"You are not a psychic," Sherlock Holmes said.

Shawn Spencer replied, "Prove it."

"That's easy enough. You knew that woman was having an affair by the way her blouse was buttoned, and the location of the buried box was easy to deduct from the quality of the ground, not to mention your 'seeing the future' was nothing more than reading a train schedule. Shall I continue?"

"That's nothing except an alternate explanation. You can't prove a negative," Shawn said.

"Oh yes I most certainly can. Psychics do not exist, therefore you are not one of them. Quod Erat Demonstrandum."

John couldn't resist commenting, "That's not what you were saying about Detective Nick Burkhardt."

"That wasn't ESP, that was magic. Two completely different things, and I'm not prepared to admit that magical beings exist outside of Portland, Oregon."

"I'm not sure I appreciate the distinction." Admittedly, John didn't think for a second that the overly dramatic Shawn Spencer was actually telling the truth. And he wasn't quite sure what to make of the sympathetic glances that Shawn's friend Gus kept sending him—clearly he'd been labeled a kindred spirit, but Sherlock wasn't quite as much of a loon as Shawn, okay he was a loon but he was a _different kind_ of loon.

"Neither of you two posturers have actually solved the case," Detective Lassiter sneered.

"Your local police aren't very competent either, are they?" Sherlock said in a voice that was a little too loud.

Shawn shook his head. "Nah, they're not. That's why I keep trying to see what whoppers I can get them to swallow next time."

"I mean, clearly the murderer was the janitor."

"The proof is in the vacuum bag."

"It became perfectly clear as soon as I saw his boots."

"The red mud, right?"

"And his cell phone password was his secret daughter's name."

"Which was obvious once you looked at the hole in his jacket."

"See, look! I knew you weren't solving those cases with psychic abilities!" Sherlock said triumphantly.

Shawn shrugged. "Oh, right. Time for another vision. Gus, could you call the reporter in here?"

Sherlock sulked for a week afterwards, probably because the _Santa Barbara News-Press_ splashed a front-page headline on Shawn Spencer's "dramatic vision" and only quoted him on the second page.

 

**Author's Note:**

> The madness continues...books, TV, manga, all I need is a movie to cross Sherlock over with. I'm thinking Avengers?


End file.
